Y’all, I’ve determined to take a break from the weblog for the following week-and-a-half. I’m not going away fully. You’ll nonetheless see me on my Fb web page, and I’ll in all probability present up on Instagram as nicely. However I would like a break. I can’t bear in mind the final time I felt this exhausted, however I’m fully drained. Bodily, mentally, emotionally drained.
I made this resolution final evening. By Monday afternoon, I had most elements of my closet chandelier completed and able to go. Over the weekend, I reduce all the “stems” to the right lengths. I additionally needed to reduce the underside steel piece on the precise chandelier shorter in order that the 2 items would match collectively correctly. After which I obtained the precise chandelier, the stems attachment, and all the smaller items (chain, ceiling rings, and many others.) primed and painted. So these had been able to go.
I had all the items in place to make this gentle set up fast and simple.
I had additionally pre-fit the 2 items collectively, testing out precisely how and the place the arms of the chandelier wanted to go contained in the stems attachment in order that the stems and flowers wouldn’t intrude with the lights on the chandelier. I obtained these marked in order that placing it collectively as soon as the chandelier was hung can be fairly easy.
And by yesterday afternoon, my flowers had been dry. I had already drilled the holes for the stems (as a result of the holes shrunk because the flowers dried, in order that they wanted to be re-drilled), and a few of them had been primed. I had deliberate to spend a few hours with some buddies within the afternoon after which come dwelling and get every thing completed. I simply wanted to get the chandelier hung, perform a little little bit of sanding on about half of the flowers, end priming the flowers, give them a few coats of spray paint, and I figured that by 8:00 final evening, I’d be placing the flowers on and be executed with the chandelier.
After my time with my buddies, I used to be again dwelling and sanding the flowers, prepping them for primer and paint, and that’s when it hit me. I had a sneaking suspicion that I hadn’t made sufficient flowers.
I had three rows of 16 stems on my chandelier, and I had made 38 flowers plus one further in case one broke. Sure, that’s proper. My silly math-challenged mind sabotaged me as soon as once more. I attempted to do math in my head, and I forgot to hold the one. I didn’t want 38 flowers. I wanted FORTY-EIGHT flowers. I used to be ten flowers quick.
Truthfully, I might have cried, however I didn’t even have sufficient vitality for that. These final two-and-a-half weeks have completely drained me. I really feel like I can’t get something executed. I can’t focus on something. I’ve no focus. And I’m being pulled in each route. Let me clarify.
I’ve already advised y’all that on July 4th, I needed to take Cooper to the emergency vet clinic as a result of he was regurgitating his meals. I arrived at 5:00pm and didn’t depart the clinic till 11:00pm. He left there in such a tragic state after being anesthetized in order that they may get scans, which confirmed that he has a tumor in his chest that has prompted megaesophagus. The megaesophagus is what’s inflicting him to regurgitate his meals. In order that led to me spending hours on-line attempting to determine learn how to feed and look after a canine with megaesophagus.
By that subsequent Monday, July seventh, he was doing significantly better. I used to be nonetheless attempting to determine the meals/feeding challenge, and he was nonetheless regurgitating some (however not all) of his meals. However he was experiencing regurgitation principally in the course of the evening, so I used to be getting very poor sleep. I solely get 5.5 to six hours of sleep every evening as it’s, so having that sleep interrupted with fear and caring for a canine and ensuring that he doesn’t aspirate on no matter it’s that he’s regurgitating was inflicting me to be exhausted and drained in the course of the day, resulting in some very unproductive days.
However we had been making it. And because the week progressed, he appeared to be doing significantly better. Till Thursday. That’s once I was attempting to get my closet island completed, and he was hanging out within the bed room with me as I used to be attempting to get the island drawers and doorways put in after I had resanded and repainted them. That morning, he had been his regular self — energetic, playful, and following me round like my shadow. However because the day went on, he appeared to grow to be extra torpid. And as I used to be within the bed room working with the drawers, he turned his again to me and that’s once I seen that he had an enormous knot on the again of his again proper leg. It hadn’t been there that morning, so this was one thing that developed over the course of a day.
And once I say “knot”, I imply that the factor was the dimensions of a big candy potato. It was so massive that it was displacing his tail, pushing it approach over to the aspect. It was already after regular workplace hours, and I simply didn’t have it in me to return to the emergency clinic and be there for hours on finish, so I made a decision that I’d take him the following day. I obtained up the following morning, took photos of my completed island in order that I may write my weblog put up, and the entire time, Cooper was following me like he normally does. However by that point, the factor on the again of his leg had began bleeding. So he was leaving a path of blood drops all over the place he went. In the event you look again on the photos of that put up concerning the completed island, you possibly can see his blood drops all around the ground.
So at 7:30am, as quickly because the vet workplace opened, I known as and made an emergency appointment they usually obtained me in that afternoon. Thank goodness the common vet permits for emergency visits as a result of their regular schedule didn’t have a gap for 3 weeks. So early afternoon, I loaded him again up and we went to the vet. She assured me that this didn’t have something to do with the factor in his chest, and after shaving the realm and taking a detailed have a look at it, she mentioned he had three giant puncture wounds behind his leg.
Puncture wounds? What the heck would have prompted puncture wounds? Nonetheless, to at the present time, I do not know what may have prompted puncture wounds, and positively not THREE giant puncture wounds. I’ve searched his yard, the home, all over the place he goes. I can’t discover something. Anyway, they obtained it cleaned up as finest they may and prescribed him antibiotics and a topical wash that I’m supposed to make use of each day. So I introduced him again dwelling, and he continued to drop blood trails all around the home for the following two days.
By Monday, he was feeling significantly better once more, virtually again to his regular self. I used to be nonetheless attempting to determine the megaesophagus meals and feeding schedule, however at that time, I used to be additionally afraid to let him out into his yard in the course of the day unsupervised. So at that time, I having to go from feeding him one massive meal a day (unsupervised, with no time constraints on me), to feeding him 4 instances a day, which must be supervised as a result of he must be upright for 20 minutes after every meal (which may be very difficult for an lively canine), however I used to be additionally now having to take him out, supervised and on a leash) about 5 instances a day.
And all of this on prime of the truth that Matt can’t feed himself. He hasn’t been capable of feed himself ever since he was launched from his final hospital keep in February 2024. Plus, there’s all the different issues I’ve to do for Matt all through the day.
I actually don’t imply this to sound like I’m complaining. I’m not complaining. I’m simply explaining. I’m exhausted. I really feel like my days are spent caring for Matt, which has by no means actually been an issue as a result of Matt and I’ve a system. A schedule. We’ve sort of labored collectively like a well-oiled machine. That was doable for me. However now a wrench has been thrown into the gears of that machine as a result of I now should spend all of this time caring for Cooper and determining this new schedule with the a number of supervised feedings all through the day, and supervised outdoors time a number of instances a day, and sleepless nights with me being woke up by each little sound that Cooper makes as a result of I’m frightened that he’ll regurgitate and aspirate and get pneumonia (the main reason for demise of canine with megaesophagus). And that’s leaving little to no time left for me to get issues executed that must be executed. And even once I attempt, I’m attempting to push by feeling exhausted and with a thoughts that’s so drained that I can’t even do a simple arithmetic drawback. I really feel like I’ve barely been capable of hold my head above water for the final two-and-a-half weeks.
So I would like a break. I would like time to determine this out, and to determine a schedule that we are able to all reside with. And I would like sleep and relaxation. So I’m going to take a couple of days away from the weblog and deal with these issues for some time. My plan is to take a week-and-a-half and be again on August 4th. That may a minimum of take a number of the stress off of me to get initiatives executed day-after-day whereas I determine this out. I do plan to maintain working as time permits, and I’m actually hoping that I can got here again on August 4th with a very completed chandelier, a framed doorway, and a very completed closet. However proper now, all I can take into consideration is that I would like a nap.
Addicted 2 Adorning is the place I share my DIY and adorning journey as I transform and beautify the 1948 fixer higher that my husband, Matt, and I purchased in 2013. Matt has M.S. and is unable to do bodily work, so I do the vast majority of the work on the home on my own. You possibly can study extra about me right here.
